and in a totally unrelated story........

Cousins, Georgia (AP)--An unexpected announcement rocked this backward, rural farming community early this morning, when Buford Stubbs, father of Cousins Elementary School’s star quarterback, Bubba Stubbs, stated publicly that his son would forego the 5^th grade and make himself eligible for the upcoming draft of the Georgia ‘Tasty Chicken’ Football / BBQ League.

Young Bubba, 4 feet, four inches of explosive offensive ferocity, led the league’s recently canceled 2010-11 season, with a total of 18 yards total offense, on 2 completed passes, 3 rushes and one crawl.

“Boy’s gotta ‘nuff book-learnin' ...time for him to ‘man-up’ an’ git him'sownself on to earnin’ a livin’,” continued the elder Stubbs.

Insiders have begun to speculate whether the diminutive quarterback’s urine test came back positive for dog milk. Young Stubbs has tested positive twice before this season, once for Roundup and once for battery acid.

Bubba, according to unnamed sources inside the league office, is expected to go high in the upcoming draft. “ I ‘spose he could get hisownself an extree signin’ bonus, what him havin’ a driver’s license, mostly his own teeth , an’ ownin’ his own farm, an’ all,’ observed the source.

“I reckon we’d a'kept doin’ right good, iffn’ we’s a kept a playin, but as you know, we ain't” observed the soon-to-be pro.

League officials confirmed, late last night, that the season was abruptly canceled when Spyder Borgg’s blue-tick hound, Elvis, attacked and ‘violated’ the league’s only football, just before halftime of the Tuber/Cool Creek game last Tuesday afternoon.

“It was a horrible thing to see. Di’nt no body want to teech the ball after that,” league commissioner and hardware store clerk, Jess “2 Fingers” Weeb. “The dog looked happy, but he were t'only one.”

Elvis is being held, without bail, in the Spludder County Corrections Facility/Walmart, pending the outcome of the on-going investigation and DNA results.