A few words of Holiday shopping advice:

(learn from my mistakes)

A collection of in-store freebies is not a well-thought out gift.

 

Don’t shop at the Dollar Store for your wife  

Never shop at the Dollar Store for your wife

 You can't shop at the Dollar Store for your wife

 Please don’t shop at the Dollar Store for your wife

Thou shalt not shop at the Dollar Store for the wife.

If you say you’ve made a donation in someone’s name, 

make a donation in someone’s name.

 

Never , ever, ever, under any circumstances,

give Grandpa a gift certificate for  

Hooters.

                                                (we miss him)

Regardless of how intoxicated and incapacitated your friend/spouse/roommate/mother-in-law may become, waking up with the new tattoo you gave them is seldom appreciated.

We’re all watching our pennies, but really, 

resist the temptation to buy lingerie at Goodwill.