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Monday, April 9, 2012

No wonder the economy is suffering...

Why are the CL listings of innovative, honest people flagged?

Denver didn't think much of this listing:

"Really? Why should you be the heavy? Why should you have to admit to your kids that the crap you told them are lies? A rabbit that leaves colored eggs, a fairy who flies around at night swapping bloody teeth for money, or a fat dude who hits every house in the world in one night, leaving toys under a dead tree? Really?


So here’s the deal. Blame me. You got it…blame me. For a small fee, I’ll come to your house, and tearfully explain to your kids that I was the one who lied to you, telling you about the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and Santa.

I’ll beg for forgiveness and take the heat off you.

For a few bucks more, I’ll tell them that the reason I’m such a loser is because I didn’t listen to my parents, didn’t follow their rules, copied other people’s homework, and never did my chores.

You can yell at me, berate me and threaten me with prison I if I ever lie again. I’ll melt into a pathetic glob of snot and tears as I humbly beg your pardon, then shuffle, thoroughly disgraced and humiliated out of your life.

Your kids need to trust you, but, face it, raising them up on lies isn’t going to be much help when you try to sell them of the virtues of abstinence and frugality, and proper oral hygiene.

Don’t be the liar. Let me do the heavy lifting and raise you up in the eyes of your kids.

Squirt me an email. We’ll talk group prices and penance.

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