We took a hit during the recent fiscal crisis when our top turtle wrangler wandered off to resume his career in fast food. What we have now is the immediate need for an experienced Mud Turtle (Kinosternon subrubrum) wrangler. For whatever reason, my herd of turtles has become very spooked, and has been known to stampede without warning. A stampede of fear-crazed mud turtles is nothing to be trifled with, so only the experienced need apply.
If you an independent thinker, fast on your feet and have excellent horse skills, shoot me an email and we’ll talk over the particulars.
Current Turtle Wrangler of America (TWA) certification is a must.
Most desired skills include: falsetto yodeling, advanced yoga, a keen and discerning fashion eye and the ability to croon raging turtles back to a peaceful calm.
Membership in a Barry Manilow Fan Club a huge positive.
Serious inquiries only, please.
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